I sat at a desk and smiled at people

I am constantly amazed by God's ability to use my total inadequacy for His glory, and how much He encourages me and I don't even know it.

Exhibit A.
I spend all this time being so self-conscious. Like, SO SELF-CONSCIOUS. I feel like I'm terrible at everything and am never really certain if I've done a good job, and this week in particular has been very challenging. For some reason, all of my insecurities have been magnified times a million, and I've been battling with these crazy lies flying around my head. Every once in a while I'll just think something terrible like, "Wow. My laugh is so horrible. I should really try to work on that." WHAT. Who cares what my laugh sounds like? Or, "I am so terrible at conversation. I bet I'm that girl that everyone tries to avoid talking to." I can't even confidently say that's a ridiculous statement, that's how much I believe it's true.
Anyway, ridiculousness aside, I realize that these things are lies, and that God doesn't really care if my laugh sounds like the tinkling of fairy bells or if I can flawlessly carry on a conversation. But I still have to rely on Him completely every time I look in the mirror in order to see myself the way that He wants me to see myself. I have to be in constant prayer, and vigilant about where my thoughts wander because it is so easy to spiral out of control when I start to believe the things I tell myself instead of the things God tells me. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9a).
I don't need a skinny body, beautiful teeth, and nerves of steel. Those things won't make me "happy," and more importantly they have nothing to do with my salvation. God has already given me everything that I need. He has given me His grace. He has called me into a relationship with Him despite far greater shortcomings than what I look like and sound like. He provided me with His guidance, His peace, His love, His joy, His LIFE.
And I spend all this time and effort wishing I was "perfect."
Well, I'll tell you what, if I was not the infinitely weak being that I am, who Jesus is and what he did for me would mean nothing. My weakness displays Jesus' perfection perfectly, because it displays the enormity of his sacrifice; the enormity of his love. And there is nothing that I can do or not do to change that. Isn't that great?

Exhibit B.
My main job on campus is just a work study job in an office in the Law School. It often consists of scanning, copying, filing, cleaning--a typical office job. And I really enjoy it. Plus, I have this incredible opportunity to be a light to these ladies that I spend 60% of my week with, and to all of the people that I come into contact with on a regular basis--other students, my fellow work studies, professors--but I don't always feel like I do a very good job of that. And I am still constantly asking God to use me to make a difference in that place while simultaneously doubting that I could because of my insecurities.
Well, this week, even as I was struggling a lot more than usual, God used my job to encourage more than usual.
It was just a little thing. One of the ladies was out sick for a couple of days so there was only one other person in the office with me, and she was a little overwhelmed. I stayed a little later than usual and tried to be as helpful as possible, but didn't really feel like I did a good job of doing anything more than sitting at a desk and smiling at people occasionally. Then I came into work today, and the first thing I was told was that one of the professors had talked me up to my supervisor about what a great job I did while she was gone. Let me repeat: I SAT AT A DESK AND SMILED AT PEOPLE. When I told my supervisor how surprised I was, I laughed and said, "I don't even know what I did! I just sat here," and this is what she told me: "Well, you talk to them. You treat them like human beings."
This was Jesus. Because I literally, 100% not kidding, sat. at a desk. and smiled at people. And that made a difference to someone.

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1 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."