Monday, April 7, 2014

That time I started a blog and then stopped posting

Where has all the time gone?! I honestly don't even know what day it is anymore. One moment it's a cold, snowy January Monday then I blink and it's basically the middle of April. Although I can't say I'm entirely disappointed it isn't January anymore. Apparently I've been enjoying the non negative-degree weather because I've been MIA for quite some time. You haven't missed much though. Really all that's been happening to me is an increasingly intensified existential crisis. No big deal.
"Why?" You might ask? Well I might ask right back, "Why not?"

1. My sister just had a baby (huzzah!) and suddenly there is a whole person who can't do anything but cry and poop and wiggle around a lot and my sister (my sister) birthed her. When did we stop being 6 and 10, running around the house and making each other cry? I mean, my niece is a miracle, don't get me wrong. I didn't even know you could love someone so much so quickly (Disney had it half right with the whole "love at first sight thing," but I guess they couldn't really have gotten away with making an animated birthing process accessible to 5 year olds). But WHAT. How did this happen? The most logical conclusion: Question everything about life.

2. I'm graduating from college in a month. A MONTH. I don't even know what that means. Nothing inside of me understands what that is going to be like, but at the same time I realize that it is a huge thing and my life is going to change forever. I've been in school for the past 16 years and now all of a sudden I'm supposed to have learned everything that I need to know to survive?! I haven't been properly prepared. Sure I'm real good (this is a grammar joke) at reading books and writing about how much hegemony and the hierarchy of gender and class matter, and I can sure as heck (pardon my language) see when the grocery store is trying to subconsciously limit my cereal choices to what "the man" wants me to buy, but what do I do if I blow a fuse and don't have anyone to back me up in the dark,scary basement? What do I do if my sink is simultaneously leaking and horrendously clogged? My car is making a funny sound but I don't want to spend $8,000 at the mechanic, what YouTube channel do I turn to in my hour of need? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY MOM'S CHICKEN POT PIE. Logical conclusion: I don't even know who I am anymore.

3.


In conclusion, regardless of how I feel or do not feel, or what happens to me or does not happen to me, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8) and he is faithful to his promise of life. So there.